On Friday we went to see "In the Heights" on Broadway! The productions was a humbling reminder of how important these two things are - PATIENCE and FAITH.
PATIENCE
It hard for me to remember to wait. I'd imagine that you might struggle, too, so we're in this together! It's important to be active in our lives, but so often, there's an element that we cannot control about what happens in our life: timing! Sr. Grace always says that, "Everything happens on God's time and God is ALWAYS on time." That's hard to remember when we're working and not seeing results. It's especially hard for me in times of frustration and uncertainty. We're all challenged to grow and move forward. It's easy to think that should have happened...yesterday. Tonight was the reminder that it's not about my schedule, or even yours. It's about His! How can we wait?...with faith!
FAITH
Faith is an essential element in having the patience to wait for God's timing....it's a willingness to believe and really trust that God will be and do all that we need as it fits into the bigger picture. That's probably even harder than waiting! But together they give us the strength to continue. We receive the strength to be active and move forward based on the promptings of our heart. We receive the courage to be, knowing nothing more than that we feel what we are doing is of God.
My prayer is, then, as we enter into the Advent season, that we be ever mindful of the need for patience and faith in our lives, as we await the birth of Jesus, and as we continue to try answer God's call in our lives as Mary and Joseph did!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
JOY!!!
"I rejoice and share my joy with all of you.
In the same way you also should rejoice and share your joy with me."
Yes!! In Paul's letter to the Philippians, read in the Church today, we hear the reminder to SHARE JOY!!! I LOVE THAT! :) Don't you?
Last night I met with the Medical Missionaries of Mary. In their communtiy, there was such a sense of joy! I had dinner with 5 of their sisters, and when their postulant came home, again, LOTS OF JOY! :) She had missed dinner because of class, so they gave me the opportunity to talk to her on my own. We were talking about the components of peace and joy in discernment. She definitely, after discerning between a draw to two communities, that this is the one, with which she felt both joy and peace. Peace is good, but without joy, we begin to lose part of who we are!
So, joy....do I still have it? I sure hope so. Please tell me if you don't see it! When I came to Cabrini last year, I learned that joy and peace were key to my own discernment. When I applied to come here, despite many unknowns, I felt, through the Holy Spirit abounding joy and peace. Does that mean that the year was ALL joyful and ALWAYS peaceful? No, but in difficult times I had to go back to the beginning, to be mindful of why and how I came here. I need to remember how enthused I was to be part of the Cabrini Mission with Crys, Mish and the sisters. I had to go back to how alive I felt when I first read Mother Cabrini's story. That, with prayer and support of my community helped me through my first mission year.
Now, I've entered a new time of discernment, and though there are challenges, I need to remember what it was that made me think that I was doing the right thing. Knowing that I have been called to this mission in some capacity; that through prayer, I really felt that this is where I am supposed to be. That I became so excited at the idea of, and ready to begin, the process of a growing commitment that I asked for an application. Though I was excited, my family and friends, the sisters...that didn't mean that along the way it would always be joyful and peaceful, but I can go back to how much I've felt a constant balance of affirmation and challenge along the way. Talking to other communities has really helped to facilitate that, especially in the last month. At Maryknoll, first it was a little unsettling...the thought of, "Is this really for me?" Taking it to prayer, to community, I've thought, "I think so." :) Heading to second community, I was nervous. Am I going to leave thinking the same thing? No!
After my conversation with MMM's postulant, I was very grateful. She, like a spiritual director, asked me a lot of questions that I needed to process and answer out loud to know if I am in the right space. And I think that I am. Talking about my year last year, with the 19th Annotation of the Exercises, the sisters, and missioners, I was reminded of how much JOY was exuded last year. Sometimes when I'm stressed or confused, that goes away, but I hope that the majority of the time I share my joy. I hope!
Joy is so beautiful and so powerful. Joy, along with Love and Peace, is among the fruits of the Holy Spirit!! I hope, in the the time to come...as I move forward, to be mindful of those fruits. It's a pretty good diet to be on, don't you think?!
Happy Wednesday!
Galations 5:18-25
Brothers and sisters:
If you are guided by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
Now the works of the flesh are obvious:
immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry,
sorcery, hatreds, rivalry, jealousy,
outbursts of fury, acts of selfishness,
dissensions, factions, occasions of envy,
drinking bouts, orgies, and the like.
I warn you, as I warned you before,
that those who do such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, generosity,
faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
Against such there is no law.
Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified their flesh
with its passions and desires.
If we live in the Spirit, let us also follow the Spirit.
Amen? AMEN!
In the same way you also should rejoice and share your joy with me."
Yes!! In Paul's letter to the Philippians, read in the Church today, we hear the reminder to SHARE JOY!!! I LOVE THAT! :) Don't you?
Last night I met with the Medical Missionaries of Mary. In their communtiy, there was such a sense of joy! I had dinner with 5 of their sisters, and when their postulant came home, again, LOTS OF JOY! :) She had missed dinner because of class, so they gave me the opportunity to talk to her on my own. We were talking about the components of peace and joy in discernment. She definitely, after discerning between a draw to two communities, that this is the one, with which she felt both joy and peace. Peace is good, but without joy, we begin to lose part of who we are!
So, joy....do I still have it? I sure hope so. Please tell me if you don't see it! When I came to Cabrini last year, I learned that joy and peace were key to my own discernment. When I applied to come here, despite many unknowns, I felt, through the Holy Spirit abounding joy and peace. Does that mean that the year was ALL joyful and ALWAYS peaceful? No, but in difficult times I had to go back to the beginning, to be mindful of why and how I came here. I need to remember how enthused I was to be part of the Cabrini Mission with Crys, Mish and the sisters. I had to go back to how alive I felt when I first read Mother Cabrini's story. That, with prayer and support of my community helped me through my first mission year.
Now, I've entered a new time of discernment, and though there are challenges, I need to remember what it was that made me think that I was doing the right thing. Knowing that I have been called to this mission in some capacity; that through prayer, I really felt that this is where I am supposed to be. That I became so excited at the idea of, and ready to begin, the process of a growing commitment that I asked for an application. Though I was excited, my family and friends, the sisters...that didn't mean that along the way it would always be joyful and peaceful, but I can go back to how much I've felt a constant balance of affirmation and challenge along the way. Talking to other communities has really helped to facilitate that, especially in the last month. At Maryknoll, first it was a little unsettling...the thought of, "Is this really for me?" Taking it to prayer, to community, I've thought, "I think so." :) Heading to second community, I was nervous. Am I going to leave thinking the same thing? No!
After my conversation with MMM's postulant, I was very grateful. She, like a spiritual director, asked me a lot of questions that I needed to process and answer out loud to know if I am in the right space. And I think that I am. Talking about my year last year, with the 19th Annotation of the Exercises, the sisters, and missioners, I was reminded of how much JOY was exuded last year. Sometimes when I'm stressed or confused, that goes away, but I hope that the majority of the time I share my joy. I hope!
Joy is so beautiful and so powerful. Joy, along with Love and Peace, is among the fruits of the Holy Spirit!! I hope, in the the time to come...as I move forward, to be mindful of those fruits. It's a pretty good diet to be on, don't you think?!
Happy Wednesday!
Galations 5:18-25
Brothers and sisters:
If you are guided by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
Now the works of the flesh are obvious:
immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry,
sorcery, hatreds, rivalry, jealousy,
outbursts of fury, acts of selfishness,
dissensions, factions, occasions of envy,
drinking bouts, orgies, and the like.
I warn you, as I warned you before,
that those who do such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, generosity,
faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
Against such there is no law.
Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified their flesh
with its passions and desires.
If we live in the Spirit, let us also follow the Spirit.
Amen? AMEN!
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Gang's All Here!
Just thinking about how last year our community was so busy, constantly passing one another! This week, with Angie, Dianne, Isalia and James gone, that left the missioners, plus Toni and Archangel. Last year, after our busy week, Crys, Mish and I were all over the place during the weekends. We found time in pairs with one another, but weekends were not exactly downtime to be together.
This weekend was pretty awesome! It was busy, but fun-filled with time for relaxation. The incredible part - we were all HOME! On Friday night, we watched a movie together that was given to me to watch by a Mercy Sister. I was so amazed by the fact that all four of the missioners, including Toni (Archangel can't help it, waking up at 4am!), were together. That's pretty cool.
Saturday, the same thing, the four of us went to the HS because Jenny and Grace had the Mission Leaders Scavenger Hunt in Times Square. It was so fun and SO exhausting! After the scavenger hunt, we dispersed - Jenny to the HS with some girls, Laura to home, Grace to dinner with friends, and I to dinner with some of the seniors. BUT in the end, we were all back in the community room by like 9pm to hang out and relax. Sunday, the SAME thing! Everyone had their daytime plans, but in the end, everyone supported Laura and I in our desire...need to watch the Packers vs. Vikings! The missioners, Toni, AND EVEN ARCHANGEL (stopped by to see what kind of snacks we set out :).
Thank you! I have wonderfully full weekend, but with the community that I've come to call home! And tomorrow the missioners and I are going to take some time to pray and eat together to reverence our CMC community! YAY!
THANK YOU!! :)
This weekend was pretty awesome! It was busy, but fun-filled with time for relaxation. The incredible part - we were all HOME! On Friday night, we watched a movie together that was given to me to watch by a Mercy Sister. I was so amazed by the fact that all four of the missioners, including Toni (Archangel can't help it, waking up at 4am!), were together. That's pretty cool.
Saturday, the same thing, the four of us went to the HS because Jenny and Grace had the Mission Leaders Scavenger Hunt in Times Square. It was so fun and SO exhausting! After the scavenger hunt, we dispersed - Jenny to the HS with some girls, Laura to home, Grace to dinner with friends, and I to dinner with some of the seniors. BUT in the end, we were all back in the community room by like 9pm to hang out and relax. Sunday, the SAME thing! Everyone had their daytime plans, but in the end, everyone supported Laura and I in our desire...need to watch the Packers vs. Vikings! The missioners, Toni, AND EVEN ARCHANGEL (stopped by to see what kind of snacks we set out :).
Thank you! I have wonderfully full weekend, but with the community that I've come to call home! And tomorrow the missioners and I are going to take some time to pray and eat together to reverence our CMC community! YAY!
THANK YOU!! :)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Turn that 5 upside-down!
The Enneagram Made Easy
Ha. That's the name of a book that we have floating around, but as AMAZING as the Enneagram is, it certainly isn't easy!! In the journey of getting to know yourself, as well as appreciate others, it gives you a lot of work to do, I think!
Last year I totally consumed myself with being a 5 - the Observer. The fives are the quiet ones, avoid small-talk and dread large social functions, always thinking, always analytic, the last to contribute to a conversation, but always having a desire to contribute. 5s tend to be introverted and almost always prefer either to be alone, one on one, or in a small, intimate group. Of the Gut, Heart, and Head centers, the 5 is a 'head personality.' I would have liked to say that my personality is more 'heart,' but when I am honest with myself, I am definitely a 5.
That being said, after a year of constantly saying, "I'm a 5" or just raising my hand with five fingers, we had the Enneagram workshop as part of our community retreat. As we went through the numbers, I doubted, "Am I really a 5?" I didn't check off as much on the 5 list as I had the first time, and on the contrary, I had a lot more check marks on numbers that I didn't think I was or could EVER be...so what's the verdict?
I am a five...at my very essence. BUT I realized that I checked off more on the 8 list (where I go in my positive compulsion, when I am healthy) and less on the list of a 7 (where I move to in my negative compulsion). This is good. :) So I feel like I might be a little healthier and stronger, due mostly impart to the experience and openness of last year, as well as my incredible community/support system. Thank you :)
So why did I check off more in the other categories, too? I'd like to think that as we grow and learn...we just become a little more 'rounded.' I feel like a more 'multi-faceted' person after a year of mission. I am certainly not perfect, but I learned a lot about how God is calling me and how to reverence the way that he calls others!
Discussion with Crys
We skyped in Crystal to our CMC Community time on Saturday, and as we took time to share I learned a bit more about all of my community members. I also got feedback from the community about what I shared. And Crystal, who totally needed to mentor me into my gut side empowered me with, "Yeah, turn that 5 upside down!"
The moral of the story is that I'm trying. I'm trying to learn more about myself, and what God is calling me to. When I put those two things together, I started to ask myself, "Are you afraid?" The answer is a big fat YES! The good news is that I'm less afraid then I was before, and realizing that is the emotion that I respond to the most, I can name my fears and work to be less timid...which is funny if you look at the NO FEAR post from earlier! I'm trying...I guess that's all I can do right now - keep trying and praying for the graces that will allow me to witness to God's work among us!!
Ha. That's the name of a book that we have floating around, but as AMAZING as the Enneagram is, it certainly isn't easy!! In the journey of getting to know yourself, as well as appreciate others, it gives you a lot of work to do, I think!
Last year I totally consumed myself with being a 5 - the Observer. The fives are the quiet ones, avoid small-talk and dread large social functions, always thinking, always analytic, the last to contribute to a conversation, but always having a desire to contribute. 5s tend to be introverted and almost always prefer either to be alone, one on one, or in a small, intimate group. Of the Gut, Heart, and Head centers, the 5 is a 'head personality.' I would have liked to say that my personality is more 'heart,' but when I am honest with myself, I am definitely a 5.
That being said, after a year of constantly saying, "I'm a 5" or just raising my hand with five fingers, we had the Enneagram workshop as part of our community retreat. As we went through the numbers, I doubted, "Am I really a 5?" I didn't check off as much on the 5 list as I had the first time, and on the contrary, I had a lot more check marks on numbers that I didn't think I was or could EVER be...so what's the verdict?
I am a five...at my very essence. BUT I realized that I checked off more on the 8 list (where I go in my positive compulsion, when I am healthy) and less on the list of a 7 (where I move to in my negative compulsion). This is good. :) So I feel like I might be a little healthier and stronger, due mostly impart to the experience and openness of last year, as well as my incredible community/support system. Thank you :)
So why did I check off more in the other categories, too? I'd like to think that as we grow and learn...we just become a little more 'rounded.' I feel like a more 'multi-faceted' person after a year of mission. I am certainly not perfect, but I learned a lot about how God is calling me and how to reverence the way that he calls others!
Discussion with Crys
We skyped in Crystal to our CMC Community time on Saturday, and as we took time to share I learned a bit more about all of my community members. I also got feedback from the community about what I shared. And Crystal, who totally needed to mentor me into my gut side empowered me with, "Yeah, turn that 5 upside down!"
The moral of the story is that I'm trying. I'm trying to learn more about myself, and what God is calling me to. When I put those two things together, I started to ask myself, "Are you afraid?" The answer is a big fat YES! The good news is that I'm less afraid then I was before, and realizing that is the emotion that I respond to the most, I can name my fears and work to be less timid...which is funny if you look at the NO FEAR post from earlier! I'm trying...I guess that's all I can do right now - keep trying and praying for the graces that will allow me to witness to God's work among us!!
Monday, October 11, 2010
NO FEAR
NO FEAR
2 Tim 1:7
"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."
I had the awesome blessing of being able to visit my uncle on Saturday afternoon. I hadn't seen him since the month before I came to Cabrini, August 2009. In January of this year, he was diagnosed with cancer. Since then, he's been making trips back and forth with my aunt to the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, Philly location. Last year when I was in and out of Philly, I had always been in town for business, and it just kept not working out...at least on my end, to see him. BUT....I spent last week in Philadelphia staying at the college to do some testing and to be with Gina at the office.
I was talking to my mom and we agreed that it was too important for me to see him (her brother), so instead of spending time with a couple of the sisters (though I hope they understand) I stayed with on Friday night, on Satruday I went to the cancer center. This time, about two and a half months ago, my uncle came with my aunt and my cousin, so I was able to see all three of them!
My aunt came in a car from the center to pick me up, which was so wonderful because I've never had a car while in Philly...and it was a limo! I know...rough life, huh? The sisters took me out and met her, which for me was VERY special. My sisters have both come to NY, but up until now, nobody else has had the chance to meet them! "You're meeting them before my mom!" I shared. Either way, the next stop was my uncle! :) I had just been in a conversation the night before about godparents, and I was particularly excited to have the chance to visit with my godfather!
Along the way, I had the opportunity to share with my aunt, who thankfully is close to my mother, about my summer away and about my recent discernment of religious life. I hope that she appreciated that conversation as much as I did, because I think that's one of the first times that I've been able to have such an adult conversation and actually have time to talk to her! A lot of our gatherings are around holiday times, and as I usually spend more time with my cousins, it was really beautiful, I think, to share a little bit of where I am with her! :)
Arriving to the center I dropped off my bags in the luggage room, and headed up to see him! Awwww, I love that! He reminds me so much of my mom...I'm just like, "Stop!" Their humor is EXACTLY the same, it kind of cool...and, of course, funny :) I got to talk to them more about the current status of my time and experience with the sisters, again, something beautiful to share with them. After a bit, we went down for lunch and all sat outside, and when I paid close attention to my uncles shirt I read the verse at the beginning of this entry!
NO FEAR. One of the patients of the clinic had shirts made like that, I believe for himself and his wife? Either way, he had the shirt on, and everyone really liked it, so now they print them, and when he comes for treatment, it's a way from them to share Scripture and God with the patients! That's AWESOME!
Even more AWESOME, is that the sisters use that same verse from a different version of the Bible, reading:
2 Tim 1:7 "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but rather of power and love and self-control." Sr. Patricia just used it in her talk in the college on Thursday!! :) YES!! I love when we have things in common!!
So...no fear. I found out when I was visiting my uncle, who has been living out the line from Scripture, that my uncle is now CANCER FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks be to God for that!!!!!!! I am just so grateful that he's gotten the treatment and the quality care that he has needed along the way! He still has a little longer to be at the center, but I HOPE that he's not there the next time that I go to Philadelphia!
I LOVED seeing him, and it was so great to visit with them! Me from Wisonsin, and them from Virginia, our family gatherings have always been too few and far between! I pray that my uncle is still doing well, and in thanksgiving both for a great visit and the success of his treatment!!
2 Tim 1:7
"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."
I had the awesome blessing of being able to visit my uncle on Saturday afternoon. I hadn't seen him since the month before I came to Cabrini, August 2009. In January of this year, he was diagnosed with cancer. Since then, he's been making trips back and forth with my aunt to the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, Philly location. Last year when I was in and out of Philly, I had always been in town for business, and it just kept not working out...at least on my end, to see him. BUT....I spent last week in Philadelphia staying at the college to do some testing and to be with Gina at the office.
I was talking to my mom and we agreed that it was too important for me to see him (her brother), so instead of spending time with a couple of the sisters (though I hope they understand) I stayed with on Friday night, on Satruday I went to the cancer center. This time, about two and a half months ago, my uncle came with my aunt and my cousin, so I was able to see all three of them!
My aunt came in a car from the center to pick me up, which was so wonderful because I've never had a car while in Philly...and it was a limo! I know...rough life, huh? The sisters took me out and met her, which for me was VERY special. My sisters have both come to NY, but up until now, nobody else has had the chance to meet them! "You're meeting them before my mom!" I shared. Either way, the next stop was my uncle! :) I had just been in a conversation the night before about godparents, and I was particularly excited to have the chance to visit with my godfather!
Along the way, I had the opportunity to share with my aunt, who thankfully is close to my mother, about my summer away and about my recent discernment of religious life. I hope that she appreciated that conversation as much as I did, because I think that's one of the first times that I've been able to have such an adult conversation and actually have time to talk to her! A lot of our gatherings are around holiday times, and as I usually spend more time with my cousins, it was really beautiful, I think, to share a little bit of where I am with her! :)
Arriving to the center I dropped off my bags in the luggage room, and headed up to see him! Awwww, I love that! He reminds me so much of my mom...I'm just like, "Stop!" Their humor is EXACTLY the same, it kind of cool...and, of course, funny :) I got to talk to them more about the current status of my time and experience with the sisters, again, something beautiful to share with them. After a bit, we went down for lunch and all sat outside, and when I paid close attention to my uncles shirt I read the verse at the beginning of this entry!
NO FEAR. One of the patients of the clinic had shirts made like that, I believe for himself and his wife? Either way, he had the shirt on, and everyone really liked it, so now they print them, and when he comes for treatment, it's a way from them to share Scripture and God with the patients! That's AWESOME!
Even more AWESOME, is that the sisters use that same verse from a different version of the Bible, reading:
2 Tim 1:7 "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but rather of power and love and self-control." Sr. Patricia just used it in her talk in the college on Thursday!! :) YES!! I love when we have things in common!!
So...no fear. I found out when I was visiting my uncle, who has been living out the line from Scripture, that my uncle is now CANCER FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks be to God for that!!!!!!! I am just so grateful that he's gotten the treatment and the quality care that he has needed along the way! He still has a little longer to be at the center, but I HOPE that he's not there the next time that I go to Philadelphia!
I LOVED seeing him, and it was so great to visit with them! Me from Wisonsin, and them from Virginia, our family gatherings have always been too few and far between! I pray that my uncle is still doing well, and in thanksgiving both for a great visit and the success of his treatment!!
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