Speranza per la vita attraverso la morte

Hope for life through death...



I was one of the last people to have met Sr. Speranza before she went home to Jesus on Friday (2/26/10), something she had been waiting for her whole life. Having been missioned with Cabrini Misison Corps part time at Cabrini Center for Nursing and Rehabilitation, I got to know and love her in a way that I never dreamed possible. When I heard that Speranza and Adelina had been transported to CCNR over the weekend of Martin Luther King, I made a point to go up and meet them. They became my escape, a quick little get away when I needed a break. Speranza and I joked for weeks about how we had come to love each other so quickly. In that short time we had, I was not surprised by how rapidly we developed a connection with one another. Instead, the depth at which she was able to touch my heart surprised me.

In many ways, Speranza has been an incredible blessing. I only hope that my presence meant even a fraction of that to her. When I needed it most, she was my first soundboard after speaking to Sr. Pietrina about discerning religious life. One day when I thought I was not going to see her again, I asked, “Speranza, if you could tell me one thing, what would it be?” At that point she had become very lethargic and did not want to answer. “Speranza! I am 23. If I live as long as you, I have 70 years to go; do you have any advice for me?” “Be a nun,” she replied. “That’s not fair, you’re biased.” We laughed…it was cute, but not really funny. That was her truth.

Eighty years in religious life, and she maximized her contribution here on this earth. She was, and remains, in love with Jesus, and all she wanted was to finally see Him face-to-face. This was evident in the way that lived her life. I do not know what the future has in store for me, but I know that I will be counting on Sr. Speranza D'Ambrosi to be my ‘speranza’ and walk this walk with me until I get to see her again.

Cabrini Missioners on Cabrini College's WYBF "The Burn"

Check it out! :)

http://pixelpipe.com/item/919f8572-c8da-4059-a56c-110bc0bf97a1

pixelpipe.com
Cabrini missioners Michelle, Crystal and Mary share about their journeys to Cabrini Mission Corps and their experiences serving as missionaries in New York City and living in community with the Missionary Sisters.

What is discernment?

Well, if you don't know, we need to talk...or you can schedule an appointment with Crys or Michelle. I feel like I've mentioned it a lot in my blog, along with disponibilitá :) This weekend we closed the month with a 3-day retreat on Discernment. It very appropriately came at a time where Crystal, Michelle and I have been processing a lot about what is coming next en la vida misionera. Michelle is pretty sure that grad school is the next step. For Crystal, the Philippines has her job description waiting. Mine is yet to be disclosed. Many sleepless nights into the discernment process and many conversations away from the next step (family, Jules, Provincial, girls, sisters)....



pray for me, please! The weekend probably couldn't have gone better! On Wednesday I had a meeting with the volunteers of the food pantry (most of whom do not speak English) that I want to start a literacy class with and they are excited! It will be small, as there are only a few that really cannot read or write in English...or Spanish :( I was so happy to see the look on Maria's face when I mentioned that I wanted to be a resource for the volunteers...

"Verdad?....alfabetización?" "Really, ....literacy?" YES!!!!! Just waiting to meet with my director to work out the logistics, but I am scheduling 1:1 meetings with the prospective participants to assess them! :) I'm going to be a teacher again, hopefully! (I have to be realistic about the nature of their culture). I really hope that they take advantage of me! :)

In the afternoon, I had spiritual direction, and it was good to talk to Luz before going on my discernment retreat. I also was able to share with her about the prayer service on Tuesday for Haiti. It was very lovely :) For the first time since I came back from Haiti in 2003, I truly felt surrounded by people that feel the same way that I do about the beautiful people of that country. It was very emotional and left me at the end with dry eyeballs.



After it ended, I went up to the front and kneeled down, I broke down and cried, "Why did you give that to me!? Why did you give me Haiti?! What do you want!?" ....the beauty of patience in discernment is that I am still not sure yet. There have been some...many things brewing in the what-to-do-next-year pot, and I am just staying open to be led by the Spirit. Hey, it's gotten me this far!

So, I finished with Luz, and headed to Sr. Barbara Leonardo's apt for dinner with the girls. There we partook of a delicious bacon meatloaf! She said that she would have given us the recipe, but she never makes it the same! We were part of her hospitality goal in her theological reflection. Since she just moved into the apt alone (after the fire, MT moved to live with the senior sisters at Sacred Heart), she said that she wanted to host people for meals and prayer. That is what we did, and it was very beautiful! Gotta love Sacred Space daily prayer reflections! :) ....it was so good that WE forgot about the Baskin Robins we put in her freezer (I know! I'm just as surprised that i forgot about ice cream!) AND I had an AMAZING cafecito...I may as well have been in the Dominican Republic...



That night when Heather came home, after having learned well that we are distracting and always engage in deep conversation, she snuck past us to go to bed! :( haha good for her!

The next day, CCNR was interesting! I got to leave though and went to meet Heather at the top of the Empire State Building...my second tourist activity in the city! It was so beautiful, but it was OBNOXIOUSLY cold and windy. People were holding onto the railings. Heather and I didn't even make it all the way around the building before we turned back! It was her last night with us, and for that, it was well worth it to head up to see the sunset! Thank God for that experience of beauty...



I dared to go out a second time, but even my earrings blowing in the wind and hitting my neck hurt! I guess the winds were only like 25mph, but we were high up! Oh, and we got to go for pizza at Késte, where we shared the best Margherita pizza. and after we were contemplating dessert...

Waitor: the dessert is a toasted pizza crust with powdered sugar and a chocolate spread
Heather: you mean Nutella
Waitor: well...yes
Heather: actually it's Hazelnut
Waitor:...yes

either way, we got it and it was amazing! This girl had her picture with it! :)



While we were there, she worked on the Enneagram questions and then we went to Lyric for coffee to determine what personality she is....I will not disclose that information. We LOVE sharing the Enneagram! :) When we came back, Crys and I went salsa dancing, which was SO FUN! The cold kept a lot of people in, so there was plenty of room to dance this time! :)

Friday, since we had a retreat day we went to mass at CCNR and to visit Srs. Adelina and Speranza. After that we packed, said goodbye to Heather, who left to go back to CA :( and got ready to welcome our cars for the New York Faith and Service Coalition (NYFASC) Discernment Retreat. The drive was...well, I slept ;) And the retreat was just what the doctor ordered. Time and rest. The retreat gave us so much space to do just what we needed at this point, time to rest and reflect on where we are in the discernment process. It was awesome to be with members of other groups and to begind tools and quiet time to think about where we've come from, how we're doing in the present and where we are going. On Saturday, there was an afternoon activity time, where I elected the yoga session that Crys and Jordan led. It was intense and wonderful!! :) Great turn out and variety of experience with yoga! :) My first time went....ok...my body still hurts, but I am really glad that I did it because I can appreciate better when the girls go to yoga!

Sunday we came back in time to head to a great mass at St. Francis of Assisi, and then we grabbed a snack on the way home. We headed up to my bed, and when Gina got home, we got to check in with her about the retreat, and she stayed to talk to me a little bit about "what's next." She expressed that Pietrina wants to meet with me and I scheduled that meeting with the provincial for Wednesday, so pray for that! :)

Like Sr. Barbara said last Wed at dinner. I've just been really blessed...my whole life! I am in NYC living a beautiful life with 2 wonderful women (Sr. Diva and Sr. La-a) and 4 religious sisters!!! Hope to tell you more soon!