On Sunday we returned from retreat with GSVs. Crystal and Michelle and I spent a good chunk of time reflecting on our community. We talked about what was good, what was not so good, and goals that we could set to make the rest of this year even better! As it turns, out, the experience was, admittedly, much more emotional than I had anticipated. In the end, again that sense of gratitude was incredibly pronounced. God truly is here, present in our joys, in our struggles, and especially in the challenge to grow stronger (in relationship with Him and with one another). Michelle pointed out that there is a difference between needing to be together and desiring to be together. That is so true of us (as I rarely go through a work day without being excited to later see them!) and my relationship with God.
In the last few weeks, amidst the journey of beginning Ignatian Spirituality, I have felt first hand, both the desire to be in relationship with God, but the immense challenge that comes with it! It's always sounds easier not to pray. At times I'm so tired, and all I want to do is crawl into a ball on my bed! BUT there is that need and desire to grow with Him. I have experienced already in my prayer, periods of not wanting to take the time. But every time that I do, I am reminded of the grace and beauty that comes from taking time to be in relationship with the one Who created me! :)
Sadiq, a man who works at CCNR with me said that he liked Thanksgiving because it was the only genuine holiday. As a Christian, my immediate response was, "What about Christmas, what about Easter?" But his response was that for other holidays, it is too easy to be commercial. Thanksgiving truly is the only holiday where Christians and non-Christians have no choice but to celebrate in light of the same thing - giving thanks. It is not about gifts...well it is not about presents. It is about the celebration of being together with people that we love and care about, being mindful of and grateful for the gifts that we have received in our lives.
On Wednesday, Michelle, Crys and I took a bus down from NY to Philly. The process was intense and incredibly chaotic. Everyone had somewhere to be, see photo. The buses were delayed, overbooked, and people were hours behind schedule. After not being in the group of people to fit on our 5:40 bus, we were finally allowed onto a bus that pulled away at 7pm. I was thankful just to be on my way! In the line, we were in solidarity with many people that were just waiting to get going. Ahead of us, was a girl that looked like Lizbeth, my favorite girl from the DR. I was reminded of the blessing of experience that my life has been. Crystal was engaged in convo with a guy from Philly. I was thankful to see her shine in the way that she interacts with complete strangers. Michelle, God bless her, I was glad that she didn't get swept away by the masses! At one point we almost lost her!
Arriving in Philly, we were greeted by Sr. Grace and Sr. Mary Lou. How wonderful! :) We went home, picking up McDonald's on the way. We ate McNuggets and Oreos with the sisters. Would you have pegged sisters for this kind of a nighttime snack? They retired, and we just hung out for a while. Our dear Michelle got tired, and Crys and I were left to talk. Without fail, the don't-even-think-about-it topic came up. What are we doing next year? That's a good question, isn't it. None of us are sure of the answer, and whenever, it comes up, one person is curious, and the other's are like, "Really, we have to talk about it now?" It was very comforting to me to talk about the fortune that this year has brought so far. Going back to when we all came to Cabrini, it IS divine providence that has brought us all together. The weekend that I came home from my interview in Philly, Crys found CMC and was ready to get in touch with Gina as soon as she could!
There is something about the three of us, something that is so balanced, so complimentary, just amazing. There is something greater than this, something greater than us, and the discernment in this next year will be where to head next. This is a foundation for something to come, but we do not know what. Crys, whether she likes it or not, is already being prompted by both the Provincial and Superior General about continuing her mission in the Philippines. Mine is less defined as I do not know yet whether I will go to Argentina, Mexico, or continue in a different ministry here. Michelle is currently applying to grad school. On retreat, Gina asked Crys, if we've thought about when we seperate after this year. The beauty of this is that we do not foresee separation. Even if we go to different places, there is something so incredible about this foundation that we are working to create. It is one rooted in love, in faith, in mission, Mother Cabrini, and most importantly, the Lord!:) The Holy Spirit is definitely with us...Mother Cabrini too!! CMC! :)
We are so blessed to be a part of the Cabrinian family and charism, where we are supported both by our sisters as well as Mother Cabrini and her mission. In New York, in Philly, and beyond....we don't know what will be next, but we can be confident that with God and each other, great things are in store! :) Thanks be to God whose power working in us can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine (Eph 3:20).
We are on the bus back home, and my battery is in need of charging, so this is all for now. Thank you all for your prayers, support, and love. This week truly has been one of thanksgiving! :)
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