What are you doing?

That is a good question. When I went home, I had an evening, with some great people from St. Norbert College '08 :) I arrived...last as usual ha, but I got to see Scott in IL :) As I began to catch up with everyone, Tanya just said, "What are you doing?" I read your blog, but what are you doing. My blog is a reflection both of what my goals in NY were, as well as the challenge of this experience of coming into two ministries.

If life is to be considered as Solitude (prayer), Community, and Ministry, then my areas of need included Solitude and Community. Ministry was the part that I had down before I found Cabrini...or she found me, rather. I had life backwards when I came here. I was serving, not taking time for my community (which for the last year had been my own family), and not taking the time to be with God - to be open to finding the connections between His desires and mine, in Adoration, Contrition, Thanksgiving, and Supplication ACTS.... When I came here, I found myself incredibly blessed to live in a community that offered both joys and struggles. Most importantly, I began to grow it what it meant to understand and be a member of presence in community. I am so thankful for the beauty of the individuals with whom I live, now down to 6 (four sisters and two other missioners). In my Solitude, or spirituality, I have seen great strides in the time that I take to be with God, thanks to my retreat of Ignation Spirituality in Everyday Life (ISEL). This retreat that was originally designed for a month has been spread out over 9 months. The four 'weeks' that it used to be deal sin, Jesus' life, His death, and His resurrection. I have an hour a day to pray, and meet with my spiritual director weekly for an hour....so what do I do?

When I'm not trying to grow as an individual and within my community, I work between two jobs. I work at Cabrini Immigrant Services three days a week, and at Cabrini Center for Nursing and Rehabilitation two days a week. The specific challenge of this reality of two jobs is the pull between them. Too much work for one, not enough work for the other. The feeling of not being enough for either because of lack time offered and availability to clients and patients. That feeling of waking up and needing to think about where I'm working, what time and what that means for if I get home in time for dinner, and how tired I will be at the end of the day to contribute to my communities sisters (MSC) and missioners (CMC). It has not been easy, and I spent the last four months praying for the grace that it takes to accept both the tension and struggles, and come to find my place in each.

Cabrini Immigrant Services - (Check out the video clip of this ministry!) At CIS I work as...well, whatever they need. My job description was really written to incorporate the random functions that I serve. As a caseworker, I have a few clients that are all survivors of domestic abuse. These clients were part of the agency before I got there, so rather than dealing with the actual abuse, I work more with the social services after. Childcare, employment, orders of protection, custody orders, etc. This involves traveling to hospitals, courthouses, gov. agencies. The work that I do here is very fulfilling, but in the beginning, I struggled with turning Spanish on and off, not being around to respond and work with my clients. 'Tomorrow' for me is really two days from now as I'm only there every other day. A few days is a week, and before you know it, I am not talking to my clients nearly as often as I can. I was working Nursing days with phone calls and sometimes on the weekends, even being on retreat, to be sure that my clients were progressing in specific areas in a timely manner. This really started to get to me in December, especially as I was trying to finish the two-month project of the Christmas gifts. I also have my desk in a kitchen. I like it, because it keeps me very involved...but that also leaves me open and susceptible to answering the door, the phones, convos with clients, and the inevitable quesion "Are you busy?" ...which leads to what do you need, which....you can tell where this goes. I have found it very challenging to be very focused on my work, and I am often pulled into the other activity of the office. Christmas project done. Hopes for the new year include being more present to my clients, for sure. I also am going to tutor and ESL student once a week. One part of my job description that has yet to be addressed is finding a way to get training for the office on domestic abuse so that we are all more well versed in that area. I have great hopes for that! Also...don't laugh, or get really confused, but I might...or probably will be finding myself in NY for another year (fall '10 to summer '11). Stay tuned for more info/explanation on that!

Cabrini Center for Nursing and Rehabilitation - the greater need for grace. Without getting into too much. My job description when I arrived here wasn't what I, or the mission corps, thought. The struggle to settle in revolved around that, as I was supposed to be taking a clinical pastoral care class, but wasn't doing pastoral care...and beyond. I do work in the pastoral care department, but my work is in fact in the pastoral care office. I minister on a more administrative/clerical manner, but do manage to find grace in that ...now, plus in the ways that I serve in our masses and other religious services as well as in my interaction in passing with the residents around the building and with the staff of the facility. I can honestly say now that I do like that job :) I work mainly with the director, Sr. Doris, who is a Sister of Charity. She and I get along very well, and after getting beyond the job description issue, have really become comfortable with one another. ...this is good :)

So that is what I do :)

I need to get myself out of a diner (better, the diner, Lyric....oh, the quest to become 'regular' in NYC :) that I have been in for too long as a patron with only a cup of coffee and a slice of Tira Misu :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR :)