I know this is a ways back, but it is an experience that you need to know about!
The night before we finished orientation, we shared our commitment statements heading into a year of ministry. As we prepared to share with one another our hopes and goals for the year, we sang the Summons. I leaned over and told Justin, ‘This one’s a tear jerker.” Surprisingly, I was well composed as we sang:
"Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don't know and never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown?
Will you let my name be known,will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?"
"And in the end we answered …
Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.
In Your company I'll go where Your love and footsteps show.
Thus I'll move and live and grow in you and you in me."
As the song finished, we walked up one by one to share what we were committing to this year. Enveloped in the presence, I almost forgot to go. Realizing that there were a mere few left, I got up to read mine.
“I begin my ministry with CMC with an openness to the Spirit, trusting in God. I will remain open to the needs of others as well as my own, actively striving to be in ‘right relationship” with all whom I encounter.
I want to embrace my community including Crystal, Michelle, and Sr. Dianne, as well as the other sisters. I will try to be honest, respectful and vulnerable in hopes of having an experience of great joy, growth, support, and challenge.
I will work toward simplicity in my life, removing all that creates distance between God and myself as well as with others in my relationships. I want read and feed on God’s Word. I will seek God prayerfully in all things, searching for ways to grow and change so that I, too, may see myself as God’s beloved.
If the question is, “May I have this dance?” my answer is, “Yes.” I want to relax and follow the Leader. I am confident that God wants me. In accepting that I need to let go of what I know and take God’s hand – take it with gratitude and dance with compassion.
I have a passion for the love and service of the Lord. He has awakened my heart. I will do the best I can to recognize that I am loved and share that love, even if it is not accepted. There is an infinite supply of love and I want my ministry to be to dispense it.”
Reading was a little diffifult, as I felt incredibly vulnerable to my community and to the Spirit. I sat down again next to Justin and took a deep breath. When I looked up, my gaze fixed on the crucifix on the wall behind the altar. It was so painful to look at, yet I couldn’t turn away from Christ on the cross. There He was looking directly at me. I know, right? ME!
At my home parish, we have a risen Christ on the cross, so I am rarely confronted with our dying Lord. Finally, I was able to look away, but only for a moment. My eyes once again were fixed on Jesus. He was looking at me and all I could here was “This is how much I love you. This is why my love is unconditional and never-ending.” The tears were rolling down my cheeks as I, for the first time in my life, truly appreciated the sacrificial grace. I have never been more moved or felt more gratitude. Thank God, I am loved.
Justin looked at me and he was like, “Is it the song?” Well, actually it wasn’t. I tried to explain but it was hard. Leaving to go to dinner it was difficult to transition from such a powerful experience. I shared it with Gina after dinner and later with Crystal and Michelle. Until now, I had only told my mother and Julie. It was a beautiful realization of the love and grace of God that I had come to know and understand throughout the course of the orientation time.
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